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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
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i'm closing this chapter. find me if you dare.
happy thanksgiving and all that.
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Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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| Time: | 8:32 am. |
| Mood: | everyone keeps getting into fights and i think it's so fucking stupid. | | Music: | THE TODAY SHOW. |
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it's becoming blatantly clear. people in our 'group' need a big old break from one another.
listen fuckers, it's supposed to snow. it's nearly december! if it doesn't snow, i'll be so pissed.
last night i spent hours at the library. and i got andes mints from aqeela.
i just want to sleep... but instead i have to go to class and work. absolute pants.
prepare to orgasm.
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Friday, November 19th, 2004
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| Time: | 5:12 pm. |
| Music: | smashing pumpkins. |
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well, i got my melodica today! it's beautiful! i've been playing it quite a bit since i found it sitting atop the mailboxes at 1:30pm.
i'm also playing the crotales in a song for the chorale concert. so now you really HAVE to come and see me.
LOOK OUT! HERE COMES MUSIC NERD ARIEL!
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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okay. i've been a rufus fan for... 6 years. oh god. anyways. his new album came out. i sort of hated want one. it's okay if i'm desperate for something else besides the first album or poses. but i'm absolutely terrified of the new one. i want it. because no matter what i do i will always love his music. there's still that part of me that will always give in. shit. i don't want to buy it and be so disappointed. but i want it because it's a rufus album.
...... i'm going to wind up buying it today. who was i even kidding? of course i'd buy it. damn you, rufus! damn you and your velvety voice and clever musical stylings! damn you right to hell!
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Thursday, November 11th, 2004
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tonite i realised a zillion and one things. but i decided to just put a few up for viewing.....
- i am not 17. i have a tendency to be pulled into a certain mentality after speaking to a certain unnamed individual. i am 20. i am a neat person. it'll stick, i swear.
- when solitaire showdown doesn't work, sharon and i get real sad. second nite in a row that it's been "unavailable". so now we're just going to figure it out for the real world.
- i certainly don't like this one song we're playing in winds.
- when you go to the east peoria wal mart, don't get too concerned when you see older gentlemen looking at your breasts a little longer than you feel comfortable with. grab the items you came for and get the hell out.
- no matter how bad you think you have it, someone else has it so much worse than you.
- you better accent-chu-ate the positive.
- trying to sketch a copy of a gorgeous painting is so hard to do well when you have hardly any art skills.
- not boxing myself in felt really good. i love yar's cooking and there's nothing i can do about it!
- matthew shipp is amazing.
- follow stefanie's advice. she knows what's up. she's fresh.
- adding a group on your buddy list titled "deadly poison" is a good way to avoid certain people.
- valley of the dolls may be over 400 pages, but it's such a quick read.
more rehearsals are in store. everyone is going home. the laramie project is this weekend. i'm finally going to get to sharon's apartment on saturday. more apartments to look at on friday afternoon. rene's movie. i must remember to get to bed so early tomorrow nite. it's so necessary.
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Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
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Monday, November 8th, 2004
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mirah is the most perfect woman i've ever heard.
well. tomorrow nite(monday)for my show, i've decided to throw out all convention. i'm bringing in several different sources to draw music from and there will be no worries of the perfect flow from song to song. flow is not important. don't count on the perfect transition. it won't be there. it's not worth the stress and anxiety. yes, anxiety! over a radio show! i should walk in that studio and feel so at ease for two hours. so if you're smart (which so many of you faithful readers are) you should do yourself a favour and give my show a listen. (9 - 11pm)
i'm making up my bio test tomorrow. and i've got another com test on tuesday. i need A's for these. i can't stress this enough. what i don't understand is the amount of effort i put forth in both these classes and the grade i get out. it's not matching up. A's for effort should go toward one's GPA.
tonite i went to produce jazz from the hilltop. janet was there. i wasn't expecting that, and i especially disliked it. i feel like if we were ever in a cage match we'd gladly rip eachother apart. either way, across the street from npr was the black eyed peas concert. i could hear it from outside. i rocked out on the way in and then explained to everyone what was happening in the fieldhouse. i felt weird about it for some reason. it really aged both groups.
i still want a nose piercing. i've been thinking about it every day for the past week. i wonder how crazy my mom would go...
it's amazing how one person can make everything so much better. i've really been feeling a lot more at ease in regards to people as of late.
apparently andrew and imran are wanting me to sing for them.... and also play my euphonium for some song. i'd rather just play my melodica (once it comes in).
i'll be so glad when this semester is over. i'll be even more glad when this year is over.
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Sunday, November 7th, 2004
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| Time: | 1:00 pm. |
| Music: | my crackling alarm clock. |
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on friday evening, i threw my hair up in pigtails and went with rachael to visit the dance marathon kids. the whole idea of it is really great, but i can't fathom staying awake, especially staying on my feet for 24 hours. kudos to those that can tho, it's fantastic. we brought animal crackers and cheez its for everyone and rocked out while stevie did a little spinnin'.
i didn't even go home at all this weekend. after realising how many books i'd be taking home for the one day, i saw no point in even trying. so i did homework all day. we went to see shaun of the dead which was absolutely perfect.
i played solitaire showdown with sharon for nearly an hour and a half and she came out the victor. i was getting competitive about it. generally that never happens. but next time, i'll be sure to win!!
a bookbag. i still need a new bookbag.
stevie and i have talked so much this weekend. we went to dinner on friday nite and then watched a movie. then last night i went over there and we gabbed til 3am. i had a wonderful time!
tonite is jazz from the hilltop with everyone's favourite crooner.... ed kaizer.
i feel like i'm getting more and more sick. this can't be happening. i'm nearing the home stretch for this semester and i need to keep healthy.
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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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i either want what i had before, or something really similar to it. right now i don't see that happening, so i trudge on. and i smoke a cigarette.
i get to be up at 6:30 tomorrow morning. that's a hard business. they say there will be bagels. and they will give us sandwiches. i'd rather just sleep.
i'm not taking my bio test til monday. i can smell the A!
talked to zak this evening, listened to his show. he's a fine young man. and a hell of a lot better at hosting a radio show than i am. that slut. he did let me listen to a group of indian dancers practicing in the room across from the studio tho.
it's officially official. i just wanted to announce that i'm throwing my hat in for the race to the presidency of 2008. i may be underage, a woman, and a full time student..... but that won't stop me!
we weren't so sure about the apartment today.
after coming home and realising that i need a serious chill pill..... i'm looking into meditation. i think it'll be a fine idea. just a few minutes a day.... isolated and quiet. sounds perfect.
my melodica comes next week.
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| Time: | 11:34 am. |
| Mood: | CONCEDE. | | Music: | WHO CONCEDES!. |
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what happened to "not so fast" and "count all the votes". i wonder what it's like for ohio right now.... all that time waiting in lines to vote and kerry concedes.
well, at least bush is just SO CHARMING. that's what america needs. how could we elect this man for 8 years? EIGHT? for all you assholes that voted and weren't well informed, you deserve a smack in the face. to all the faithful bush supporters who just loved how he looked in a cowboy hat, to hell with you. to the woman at the RNC who kept screaming "FLIP FLOP FLIP FLOP" i hope your grandchildren are so very proud of you. people are going to complain and i'm going to be right there with them. right there until i feel like i've said what i want to say and then i'll be done. this doesn't make any damn sense.
god bless barack obama. at least illinois walked away a winner.
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| Time: | 9:41 am. |
| Mood: | on so many edges. |
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bush can't win. too many republicans. the senate. the house. now the presidency? i don't think i can talk to another republican for the next 11 days.
bush - 254
kerry - 252
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| Time: | 12:44 am. |
| Mood: | DEMOCRAZY!!!!!. |
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stefanie and i were on edge. screaming, shouting, crying, nashing our teeth. nbc was giving ohio to bush. kerry said "not so fast". tom brokaw is an asshole.
we turned the channel to cbs. accuracy central!!! dan rather is at the helm of this ship! this won't be decided for weeks. provisional ballots. PROVISIONAL BALLOTS!
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Sunday, October 31st, 2004
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the decemberists covered a bjork song. that sent me reeling.
i wore a pink wig last night. and pink eyelashes. and pink fishnets. some guy was like "what are you for halloween?" and i said "i don't know, i just really wanted this wig". i felt like a different person in it. and that i liked.
my laundry basket full of clean towels and my bookbag full of study materials is in my car. i look so awful and so tired. i wish i had been smart and just brought those things in.
yesterday we went to the german american restaurant in bradford and tanners. bradford was sort of an adventure. the restaurant didn't open til 3pm, so we wound up at the bradford exchange. sharon and i drank chai and talked to olin while erica tried on the most amazing shoes and found the best cardigan. that damn bitch. the restaurant opened, so we walked through the wind to get there. i was going to get something with meat, just to keep myself from being boxed in... but at the last minute i gave in. potatoes and dinner salad. erica and i felt sick after that meal, let me just tell you. we walked around tanners, found fake cats, looked at children, tasted apples and cider, make our purchases and left. i now have a bag full of honey crisp apples. be jealous.
i smoked an american spirit last night. so nice. now that i'm a music minor, somehow i feel less bad about it. oh, and i dropped recital lab. and i sure don't feel bad about that at all.
today i study for my japanese test i have tomorrow. i'm scared about this one.... i really want an A.
this week i'd be really happy if everything were to be figured out. i'm taking the initiative.
google has a halloween theme. <3
i just got an email from someone about how they were changing their email addy..... and at the end it says Thanks for any inconvenience. HUH!
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Thursday, October 28th, 2004
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we shall overcome. :]
edit:
 I am a Bowler Hat.
I'm very proper, often politically correct, precise and dapper. I generally look down on the masses, but I usually try not to let it show. What Sort of Hat Are You?
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after getting to bed around 3 am, i woke up at 8:30 feeling so disoriented. i can't do that anymore. i need lots of sleep. went to class and listened to ali say things like "super bawl". sang for chorale. ate a real quick lunch. sang for chorale again. came home and here i am. i'm tired and my day is just going to get more and more crazy. i was HOPING to go to sharon's or something. nice relaxing sit down and have a good time. but with tests coming up... bags to pack... notes to copy.... working... and class, it probably won't work. bollocks.
it's getting to be that time in the semester where i just want it over. my nerves are shot and i just want to smoke and read books all day. i'm nervous about everything. high stress and high anxiety. i didn't plan well... and now everything is hitting all at once.
be like the squirrel, girl, be like the squirrel.
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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
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| Time: | 12:23 am. |
| Music: | natalie merchant - thick as thieves. |
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i guess what i'm trying to say is..... i just really <3 sharon.
this natalie merchant album has been sorely missed. it's taking me back to a time when i would only listen to this album and rufus wainwright's debut. OH HOW I MISS '98!
i just remembered that my copy of "gift of the maji" as performed by jack and meg white is on my other computer.
it was so rainy today. i love rainy days. i get to drink tea and look out my big window. tomorrow nite i have nothing going on, so here's hoping it's dark again.
my life is coming together pretty well right now. i'm feeling very confident.
susan, i'm coming to cali this coming summer. i'll need to see jon brion. need.
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Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
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i might wind up doing on air things for npr. on air!
braden said i have an air about me. he never wants to rub me the wrong way. i'd like to do away with that air.
we're deciding things left and right and cutting out the bullshit! sometimes one must be a little selfish.
halloween is coming up and i have no costume. everything fell through. i decided school and work were more important i guess. i'll have to find time before saturday to find SOMETHING.
i need a haircut, and i'm scheduling one for friday. i'd rather not spend the money, but i must. it's been 4 months.
tomorrow i sign up for times to decide the rest of my life. my whole life was determined by a 20 minute time slot.
i'm going to read our town and slowly fall asleep....
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Sunday, October 24th, 2004
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ps......
can someone buy me a samovar for hanukkah?
listen to my radio show tomorrow at 9. i'm putting andrew bird in an artist spotlight. ( buedge.com )
yar whatchyar...
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my body hurts. i missed the jazz band concert. and now i'm missing erica's gallery reception. so i'm sorry. but i feel so bad.
last night i had a nightmare that i was eating this delicious quesadilla and then i bit into a chunk of meat. i woke up thinking i had eaten meat and it took a lot of convincing before i was sure i hadn't. that's what my dreams have become... nightmares about meat.
i'm going to go get some tape and tape my toes together. my toe still hurts and it's been too long.
i <3 huckabee's wasn't quite what i wanted. there was no point... but perhaps that was the point? the soundtrack was so good tho... i'll make my own movie called "i <3 jon brion".
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Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
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rufus' cover of "across the universe" can be heard on a canon commercial. it's official, i'm not buying want ii. wouldn't have liked it anyhow.
last night was more fun than i ever dreamed it to be. normal anxieties grabbed hold of me, but i shrugged them off and had a wonderful time! armed with two beers and the best dance mixes ever..... i rocked til i could rock no more. i'm just glad i met a lot of really wonderful people. but i especially got to see sharon again! (YES!) and jess! always a treat. she didn't even fall on her face this time!
had two concerts today. spent nearly 5 hours in dingeldine. todd, christine, rene, kevin, and erica showed up for rachael and i and i thought that was so sweet.
i finally was able to give my mom the other part of her birthday present, which was her favourite perfume (angelfire) and she was overjoyed. went to dinner and came back home to watch the 2 hour the office special. i cried at the end... i'm not ashamed to admit it.
no jazz from the hilltop tomorrow, so no work til tuesday. that's the day i hang out with sharon and olin again!
it's true, imran and i are an old married couple. i realise it more and more every time.
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Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
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like, omgz, zak totally just dedicated a song to me. OmGZ!
i'm going to shower in a half hour and then do so much homeworkhomework!!! too much if you ask me!
next week, i'll have a new name for my radio show. and it will be 'tangerine dream'.
i made a pretty good lesbian comment to stefanie this evening. she laughed so hard that milk spurt out her NOSE!
shesratedx24: i'd marry you in an instant.
shesratedx24: if the law would let me
stefathena: well
stefathena: VOTE kerrY!
shesratedx24: he won't let me marry you either!
shesratedx24: that's for a man and a woman, he says
shesratedx24: only give us partnership rights, he says
stefathena: butttttttt
stefathena: like...
stefathena: isn't that all us gays want?
shesratedx24: i just wanna fist some ladies.
maybe that's why girls always touch my hair and smile at me and hit on me in general.
this weekend, rachael, erica and i are going to go look at apartments and houses. i am so excited.
livejournal is bullshit and i can't ever forget that. i better write a post it.
i'm going to new york in the dead of winter and i don't care. i've sat outisde for 7 hours one february by the front doors of the vic theatre in the windy city. i can handle cold.
jessica, give me yer mono. i need to try a new diet.
I TAINT NO SUPERVEGGIE!!!!
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